7 Questions to ask when hiring an End of Life / Death Doula
September 18, 2017
Resources
by Maria Lazovic
When you find yourself turning to an End of Life Doula for support, you may be already carrying the weight of deep sadness and be bewildered about what to ask and where to start. The first rule of thumb is – you may ask anything you like! Your circumstances are unique and your individual needs are important. Your Doula will understand this.
However, the following points may help you get started.
- Enquire about certified training and experience. A number of organisations offer quality training with certificates of completion. You may ask for proof of training or even contact the training/education organisation. They will know their Doulas personally. Currently there is no national certifying body for End of Life / Death Doulas. However, most educational organisations self-regulate to a very high standard. For Example, Australian Doula College requires all their members to adhere to a professional code of conduct and ethics, have a first aid certificate, police check, working with children card, public liability insurance and offer professional supervision to their Doulas.
- Interview more than one Doula. It is vital to feel a connection with your Doula. Trust your intuition here. You are passing through an extremely vulnerable time and a feeling of comfort, intimacy, confidence and faith in the people supporting you, including your Doula, is critical to your overall well-being.
- Enquire about the Doula’s philosophy about death and why s/he became an End of Life Doula. Feel free to ask questions about inspirations, motivations and interests. Doulas have usually attended multiple deaths. Ask about their experiences and impressions. Share what is important to you – e.g. having your wishes carried out, maintaining dignity etc. Share your particular cultural history, and ask your Doula about his/her heritage or background. Ask if your Doula has other qualifications or career paths presently or prior to becoming a Doula.
- Enquire specifically about what the Doula does and doesn’t offer. How do you most often support people dying and their loved ones? What have you noticed is most helpful? Are you available for a vigil? Are you available to attend medical appointments with me? Be prepared for a Doula to ask you specific questions about the progression of your or your loved ones illness, and the support you presently have in place. The reason a Doula may ask these questions is to determine how s/he may serve you best and make suggestions from there.
- Enquire about fees. This may include questions about time allocated to offered packages. What if I need more time or less time? Do you consult on an hourly basis? How and when can I pay?
- Enquire about communication. How can we contact you? Can we email you with questions or concerns? Are you always on call? Do you offer phone/on-line support as needed? Can we meet to discuss our needs and the role you will play? If you do not have a Doula living in your area, enquire whether the Doula provides phone/on-line support. If you are a caregiver, you can still benefit from expanding your own support network which may include a virtual Doula companion.
- Enquire about the Doula’s support network. Do you have a back-up Doula? Can I meet this person? Do you have support to look after your family and other commitments at times that are critical to me?
Doulas can be hired by people at end of life; however they are very often hired by their loved ones as well. Doulas are there to offer their compassion and skill – and you may be surprised at the strength and confidence you develop in holding yourself as your Doula holds you.
Author: Maria Lazovic
You can find Maria’s listing <<here>>
To find your nearest end of life doula, <<click here to search our directory>>
great questions Maria, very helpful for people negotiating their way in this area
Helpful article to support the integrity and compassion in this work. Thank you.
Valuable and useful questions Maria
Years later, these questions are still very applicable and relevant. Thanks!
It’s just as important to know who you are sharing your intimate, and at this time, most vulnerable self with as well as the doula knowing who you are.
It’s good to know who you’re working with.
For for doing hospice for 30 years as a volunteer, what an honor to learn how to become a doula, midwife of death. Also learning midwife of death for pets.
Thank you for this, Maria. I’m just starting my journey to become a EOL doula. I’m very excited to be training for such a necessary service, and your article has some valuable points.
Thank you for these 7 suggestions. I hoping to further my education on being an EFL Doula….. and will continue to offer my services on a volunteer basis.